I get rid of people.
Sometimes it’s not my choice to get rid of people. I’ve been forced to get rid of people because I move all the time. I’ve had to get rid of countless friends, best friends, friends who used to talk about being in each others weddings friends. That’s why I never believe someone when they say I’m going to be in their wedding and I rarely say it to others.
There have been friends I didn’t want to get rid of. I’ve tried to keep in touch with them, using AIM and emails and phone calls before facebook and texting existed. I talked to my friends, I visited my friends, and together we resented that I had moved away. But all that did was keep me from making friends in my new place.
After plenty of moves and plenty of resentment, I finally realized that sometimes you have to get rid of people. Sometimes friends from the past keep you from fully enjoying the present. Not every friendship has to go on forever. Even people have a time and a place.
Not everyone has had the same childhood that I did. Not everyone was forced to get rid of friends. Not everyone learned the same lesson that I did. Not everyone threw tantrums every year and a half and screamed that her parents didn’t love her and that she didn’t love them either because they were taking her away from her friends yet again. Friends were ripped from my arms and then from my heart. I didn’t have a choice.
Now I do. And I choose to get rid of people. I choose to get rid of people that hurt me, people that don’t respect me, people that only bring negativity into my life. Sometimes I get rid of people just because they annoy the shit out of me so that I become a person I don’t like when I’m around them. Every relationship has a time and a place. I don’t keep people after they have exhausted theirs. I get rid of them. I let go of the past, I embrace the present, and I welcome the future.
I know part of it is also my personality. I don’t like to get attached. I like to get rid of people before that can happen. Or I get rid of them when they get too attached to me. But I think I’ve done pretty well lately. I haven’t gotten rid of any of my friends from Nebraska, except David when I broke up with him. At that point, I didn’t even like him as a person so there was no reason to be friends with him. I’m still friends with most of my crew from freshman year. Lindsey got rid of us, but we are much better off without her. I wouldn’t say I got rid of Paige because I didn’t make a conscious decision to cut her off, it just happened and we are still on good terms. I think. Oh but I totally got rid of Chris. He was too attached and it had to be stopped. Anyways, I haven’t gotten rid of too many people that are important to me lately.
I know that not everyone thinks the way I do. A lot of people weren’t forced to repeatedly get rid of people when they were kids. It’s definitely made it easier for me to get rid of people, but it’s also given me a healthy perspective on relationships. You don’t need to keep everyone in your life. Some people are meant to teach you a lesson and leave. Holding on to every relationship is just as bad as shutting everyone out. It’s hard to know who to get rid of, but eventually we all learn.
Just because I got rid of a friend doesn’t mean I didn’t and don’t cherish their friendship and their impact on my life. Here are some old pictures of my very best friends that I was forced to get rid of.
my ultimate bestie in pa alex // she studies architecture at a same university in pa
crystal van and rachel rexroth // I still follow them on instagram which is a big commitment
zoe was an amazing best friend // she’s a tridelt at tech now so we are ~sisters~
sallly fritz. we were closer than I’ve been to anyone else. I went through so much with her. our best friend/boy crush tried to kill himself when we were in sixth grade and they took him away and we never saw him again. we visited each other every summer until sophomore year of high school. she goes to a&m now and my biggest regret is not being friends with her. we run into each other sometimes and try to have normal conversation, but our history combined with the fact that we don’t know anything about each other anymore makes it incredibly awkward. she’s doing great though.
**I can’t find any pics of blair, maci, and I, or ian and I, or mark and I, but they were all important best friends too, just from before facebook and before digital pictures