My sophomore year is over.
I literally can’t believe it. When I look back to the first day of work week in August, I have changed so much. This year I have grown more than any other year.
I came to the tridelt house last year thinking I knew everything. I knew who my friends were, I knew what I wanted to be, I knew who I was. Turns out, I knew literally nothing about literally anything-one of Grace and my favorite sayings at the moment. I could never have imagined the ways I would change this year.
First of all, I grew in my relationships. I learned a lot about how a friend should act and how we should treat each other. I let go of toxic relationships and I avoided the drama. Thanks to Jenna, I had the strength to cut negative people out of my life and realize I was so much better without them. The friends I have now encourage me, support me, entertain me, and love me. I cherish the time they choose to spend with me and the advice they give me. I know so much more about all of my friends. I feel like I understand them better and because of that I am able to encourage, support, and love them better. I realized the importance of developing friendships. I made sure I was available for my friends when they needed me. I put effort into getting to know my friends, and just everyone in the house, better.
I got so close to Julie. I truly treasure our friendship. She knows my secrets and I know hers. I trust her completely and I know she would never say anything about me to anyone else. She still hasn’t realized that friends are more important than grades, but I think she will eventually. Claire is so sensitive. She is definitely a needy friend, but I know she invests just as much in me as I do in her. I can always count on Claire to remember when I just had a test. I know she will celebrate all of my achievements and love me with all her heart. Grace is hilarious. She always has some long story about whatever we are talking about. We have some really great Jesus talks and I love reading the daily devotional to her every night. She is always up for a road trip, a dance party, or a late night convo in the mitch. If I needed Grace she would drop everything to help me. One day she brought my rain jacket to campus at 7:30 in the morning because I was crying and having a mental breakdown because I thought I was going to be late to my 8am class and my laptop was going to get wet and break. Basically I was a mess and Grace saved the day by keeping my dry, giving me a hug, wiping my tears, and getting me to class on time.
I thought I knew what I wanted to be: a pharmacist. As of now, I still want to be one, but taking classes within my major has opened up a whole new world. I realized I am interested in so much more than pharmacy. Every time I go to my genetics lecture, my stomach burns inside like I just took three shots of shitty tequila in a row. It sounds weird, and trust me it is, but it’s just the feeling I get when I’m really passionate about something. When my stomach is on fire, I know I’m learning something so important, something that I love, something that I want to know more about. I want to know more about p53 protein and it’s role in cancer. I want to know more about using phage therapy to treat patients who are dying from antibiotic resistant infections. I want to know how chromosomal translocations accounts for half of infertile couples. I want to know more, but there isn’t any more information. I’m thinking more and more about research. I want to know everything and I want to be constantly learning. Research seems like a pretty cool way to do both of those things. I know I’m a huge nerd and I love it. I love when my stomach is on fire. I want to have that weird feeling everyday for the rest of my life.
The biggest change this semester came from God. I didn’t grow up a Christian and I didn’t know if I believed in God until I came to college. The first year and a half, I went through the motions and picked the things I liked about Christianity and left the things I didn’t. This semester, that all changed. I can’t point to a time or a place or a day that it happened, but looking back I know it did. I trust Jesus with my whole heart and my whole life, and it has taken a weight off of my shoulders. A lot of my friends can’t believe the change they’ve seen in me and I can’t either. God has filled me up and there is no room for the person I used to be.
First of all, I’m really not anxious anymore. I don’t get stressed about tests and I don’t panic when things go wrong. I still study, but now I believe in my intelligence because God gave it to me. I believe in myself because God made me. I know I will do great things because God has a great purpose for me. I know if I follow the fire in my stomach I will be following God’s plan because He strokes the fire in me. Even as I’m looking finals in the face with mostly C’s, I know it’s going to be okay. I’m going to give 100% and God is going to do the rest. I can’t do anything to screw up His plan for me, and He will love me no matter what I do.
My heart has grown so much. I never used to do anything if I couldn’t see how it directly benefitted me. I lied about my volunteer hours for NHS. I think I went to the animal shelter once for like an hour. Now I volunteer my time at least three hours every week and it feels so good. I definitely benefit from what I do, but I benefit others more. I have been humbled by the things I have seen and experienced. I have realized that I’m not here for myself, I’m here to show God’s love by loving other people. My heart has been split wide open. I care so much more, I love so much more. I am way more kind. I’m still my witty and sarcastic self, that probably won’t ever change, but I know how to approach with kindness and selflessness. Jesus taught me that I can be strong and kind, independent and selfless, opinionated and understanding.
I am also much more accepting. Christians get a bad reputation for being judgmental, because many of them are, but Jesus says again and again that the most important thing is love. I am better at understanding people and accepting them for who they are. I know that Jesus loves everyone I should too. I really try not to judge people based on race, ethnicity, sexuality, or even religion. I’m constantly telling my friends that being gay isn’t a sin and it does make someone a bad person. I feel like I have the hardest time accepting people for the small things, like being not very smart or wearing knee high polka dot socks. But it doesn’t matter how smart they are or what they wear because God thinks they are perfect. God made everyone and if He made you gay than that’s the way you are supposed to be. I don’t know why some Christians choose to judge people so harshly. Jesus just wants the world to be filled with love. I just want to show others that kind of love, however imperfect I am.
I am still learning and I am still growing and I am still changing. I know that God will continue to work in my life in ways I cannot even imagine. I’m so excited for the future because I know I’m going to have an amazing life. Shouts out to Jesus for planning it all out for me. This year has been the best year of my life and I look forward to saying the same thing next year.
I have so many great memories from this semester. Here’s the highlight reel.
my tb test was a false positive // st. joes
grandpa took me out for vday // cafe excell
not my first whoop, but my first as a junior // pull out day
sophomore pull out day // katie cassidy claire and miranda
my fav birthday cake snow cone // our go to hangout bahama bucks
pharmacy students pretending to be in potions class at hogwarts // ut pharm school visit
skyping with callie // everyone makes fun of the voice i use
typical day riding the aggie spirit bus // route 22
i work on this puzzle before my appt every week // its an american map and i suck at geography
claire dazzling me as much as the sunset // stompfest practice
grace and my quote of the semester // pretty sure momma barbs saw it
spring philanthropy pancake dinner was a disaster bc the food sucked // delta diner
countless face masks until sarah got the sulfur one in her eye and cried for days // delta shelta
crawfish party with christa // pi phi house
the products of the tie dye deltas only // the courtyard
new social chair for pre pharmacy society // relay for life
getting a farmers tan between classes // architecture building
hand crafted fake pearl necklace and hair wrap // thx cassidy
claire was too scared to ride the bull so we rode the cow // claire’s 20th
grace and my bulletin board full of memories // featuring my speeding ticket and her sloth
grace and i goofing off in my bed at 2 am // we got yelled at to shut up
claire’s last night at the delta shelta // she can’t jump for shit
house girls party // chapter room
typical me stalking shane and sk // mitch window
lindsay stole all her bugs from a guy named cullen for her ento project // finals week
one of momma barb’s grandkids, hannah // she wanted to be in our roomie pics
living in the tridelt house was the best decision of my life // last dinner