choose

It happens the moment you see him. Your world shifts, and nothing will be the same. Just the sight of him turns you on. He feels it to; the world draws you to each other. You were meant to be together. Suddenly, you can’t get enough of him. He intoxicates you. You want to share space with him and you want to touch him every chance you get.

The air crackles between you. You feel the pull of him like a magnet. You never want to be away from him again. You have a burning lust that connects you. He shocks you like no one has before. Every time he opens his mouth, something unexpected comes out. You know him on the deepest levels, but you’ve skipped all of the surface stuff. You know he sleeps naked on the left side of the bed, but  you don’t know how many siblings he has. He knows how to make you claw his back and scream his name, but he doesn’t know your middle name.

You can’t keep your hands off each other. You dive headfirst into a serious relationship, ignoring everyone that says its a bad idea. You have doubts when he’s not with you, but in his presence life seems perfect. People want you to slow down, but your relationship is a train going full force. If it ends, it will be in flames, impacting everyone around you. His touch erases every one before him. You’ve never feared spontaneous combustion, but he makes you think its a real possibility when he looks at you with those fuck me eyes.

The lust brought you together, but it evolved into a fiery, passionate love. You fuck and fight with so much force that no one can doubt the heady mix of lust and love between you. Your highs are as high as your lows are low. Every feeling is amplified beyond what you’ve ever felt without him. The life you had before him seems dull and far away, like looking at a black and white picture without glasses. You can’t imagine a future without the vibrancy he brings to your world.

In ten years you don’t know where you’ll be. Every day takes and unexpected turn that keeps you on your toes. You can barely plan what you’re going to do the next day, so there’s no hope for a ten year plan. The constant change keep you challenged and engaged in life. You’re always fighting about how to proceed, but they always end in mind blowing sex. You couldn’t love him any more than you already do.

He’s changed you irrevocably, but you aren’t sure if it was for the better or for the worse.

//

The first time you met him, you didn’t feel the earth tilting on its axis. It seemed like a normal day. You didn’t even remember exactly when or how you met. Your relationship was gradual. You hung out and became friends. You know each other well, but still learn new things everyday. He slid right into your life like he was suppose to be there. He knows you and cares about you. He’s seen you at your worst. He can make you smile even when your crying. He’s heard you sing off pitch in the car and he’s seen how crazy your family makes you. You don’t like cars, but you’ll listen to him talk about his passion for hours because you feel his excitement as your own. You want to breathe the same air as him. When he has to go to the DMV, you want to go with him just to sit and talk.

One day, the love became more than the friend kind. You can’t point out where it started. It seems like you’d always felt this way, even though you know you haven’t. He just snuck up on you and you realized he was everything you wanted. His presence comforts you like your favorite sweater. You’ve seen his good side, his bad side, his goofy side, and his serious side, and you love all of them. You share values and dreams, and even when they differ, you support each other. He knows all the arbitrary lines he shouldn’t cross: don’t mention your height, don’t compare you to your mother, don’t put the cereal back in the pantry if there’s not enough for another full bowl.

The first time your lips touch it almost feels wrong, like you shouldn’t be kissing your best friend. But then your brain turns to mush and your heart takes over. Your heart swells with feelings of pure rightness. Your familiarity makes reading each other so easy. You could tell exactly what he liked and wanted without having to open your mouth to talk. Of course, you mouth is otherwise occupied. Even studying turns into sneaking glances at him, which turns into making out and more. And damn, the more is fantastic.

Your relationship is anything but boring. Even ordinary things like going to the grocery store turn into an adventure when he pushes you around the store in the cart like a kid. Being around him soothes and excites you at the same time. Every day seems like a new opportunity to grow, explore, and laugh with the man you love.

You can imagine exactly where you’d be with him in ten years: a big house in the South with three little boys and two golden retrievers. You’re a pharmacist at the hospital and he’s doing whatever he wants. He cooks dinner, because you’re terrible in the kitchen, while you help the kids with homework. You fall into bed at night, thankful for his stready arms wrapped around you. It’s exactly where you want to be.

He’s comfortable and familiar, but you’re not sure if he challenges you enough

//

Who do you choose?

People have been writing novels about this dilemma for centuries. Songs capture the feelings in three minutes or less. Poems, plays, comics, movies, and TV shows have all been dedicated to finding the answer to this question.

So do you pick the guy who turns your life upside down and sets your skin on fire? Or do you choose the guy who fits perfectly in your life and knows you better than anyone?

 

 

 

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