first time holding Avery // January 16

I’ve never really liked children. I’m not the girl to coo over a baby.  I never babysat or nannied. I’m not good with crying, germ-infested, annoying, children. In my limited experience, all children are disgusting nightmares.

My dad has two younger brothers. They are both married with kids. My brother and I are the oldest of the cousins, but we are all pretty close in age.

My mom also has two younger brothers. They are in their forties and Jonathon just got married two summers ago in Vegas. It wasn’t a trashy Elvis drive through wedding, but my brother and I weren’t allowed at the reception because we weren’t 21.  It was one of the only weddings I’ve attended. And it led to Jonathon and Jessi having their first child around Christmas time.

Her name is Avery Claire.

She is literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. She has blonde wisps for hair and beautiful blue-grey eyes. Her fingernails are so tiny. She has the most delicate little eyelashes. She didn’t cry or fuss at me. She talked to me and even grabbed onto my finger with her tiny doll hands. I could’ve held her in my arms forever.

I have always worried that I wasn’t the type to have kids. People know that I don’t like kids, but I always tell them that I will like my children. I never really knew if it was true or if I would have as much disdain for my own flash and blood as I do for everyone else’s little monsters.

It was a relief to hold Avery in my arms and know it wasn’t true. This baby is only my cousin and I love her more than words could describe. It only took seven pounds to convince me that I would love my own children more than I love life itself.

I’m so happy I get to be here in College Station with Avery as she continues to grow and develop. I will happily give up my place as the favorite grandchild for the little bundle of joy, but it’s not like I had a choice.



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