The powerball jackpot is currently 1.5 billion dollars. After taxes, one winner would receive $900 million.

I bought a ticket with my lucky numbers that I use for pick six keno, even though I’ve only won a couple dollars. Maybe all my luck was being saved up and will spill out on this lottery ticket. And yes, I am immature enough to pick the number 69, then laugh as I whisper it to the cashier.

I was thinking about what I would do with all of the money if I won. I think I would first give one million dollars to my closest friends. A lot of them are struggling with huge student debts and struggle to eat paycheck to paycheck. I would be much happier knowing they were reasonably taken care of financially. Even if I gave a million to all of my friends, there’s still more money left than I would know what to do with.

So I thought, what if I give everyone in the US a cut?

900 million dollars divided by about 300 million people equals 3 million per person.

Homeless people would be able to purchase a house, single mothers could afford their child’s new shoes, students could go to college without worrying about student loans, billionaires wouldn’t notice the minute inflation of their bank accounts, and the average person could pay off their debt and live a little more comfortably.

But if everyone gets 3 million dollars, isn’t it about the same as everyone getting nothing?

Everyone would have bags of money to spend. Prices would go up and the value of the dollar would go down. Three million would suddenly not be that much money. I’m no economist, but I think the effects would be pretty disastrous. It’s really sad that our economy thrives on some people being less fortunate than others. I don’t pretend to have any answers where our economy is involved, but someone should fix that shit.

So, instead, I will give all of my friends one million dollars, buy my parents their dream house in San Antonio, and hire a personal accountant to tell me how to invest the rest. Of course I will be a little more careless with my spending, but I would hope I would have enough restraint to put most of it away to use for traveling the world and donating to charities. I would also buy myself a Range Rover. Man, those cars are beautiful.

Moral of the story: If you want a million dollars, you should befriend me today.




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